told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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