I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
