I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
