I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
