I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
