The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Randomize
