We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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