How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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