office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
