you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
