I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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