Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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