Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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