i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
