I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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