TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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