We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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