Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
