why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
