I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
