It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
