this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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