I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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