you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
