If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
