Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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