It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
