Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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