Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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