No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
