My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
