Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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