A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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