I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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