She said her name was "party"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize