i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
