why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
