Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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