This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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