I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
