It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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