I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
