I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
