Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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