haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
