my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
