Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
