i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
