The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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