Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
