my phone needs a breathalizer
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
